My first experience with Country Music was tonight. I really thought just the crowd got drunk and wanted to fight well tonight I found out it is the artists too. I was regretting the decision earlier in the week when not only was the website not getting any hits for the show there was no advanced ticket sales. I have had shows that have had very few advanced sales and still walk up a crowd but zero sales was a first.

I called the agent to let him know that whatever promotion they were doing wasn’t working. That I think I’d be better off canceling. Usually if you cancel with notice you give up the deposit in this case there wasn’t one and you go on your merry way. The artist doesn’t want to play to nobody and if the promoter takes the loss your chances of playing the market in the future are dashed.

He got argumentative but in the end I agreed to follow through with the show. He said the artist would be understanding and make the call after the show whether to give me a break on the guarantee. Well the show played 4 people wandered in off the street and paid so I set a new worlds worst sales record for any show I’ve ever done.

I was ready to settle after the show and get the hell out of there. I was instructed to settle with the guitar player who was pretty good and had a Keeley peddle board but that is another story. He was very understanding and felt it would be prudent to meet in the middle until the merch girl got involved. I could tell by the evil look on this chicks face there was no compromising going to happen. She went and got her boyfriend the bad boy from TV’s The Bachelorete who decided to play the part.

Well I haven’t had a fight since the 6th grade and I wasn’t gonna fight over money it really isn’t like I’m gonna miss my housepayment over the deal so I handed him the money and made one last comment. “Damn I hate country music” Well those were the words he was waiting for because he was ready to tussle. Again you may call me a pussy but this 52 year old man knows when not to go down that road with a 30 something 6 foot something 240 pound tattooed drunk TV Bad Boy.

So when I say I hate country music it has nothing to do with Buck Owens who used to horn in on my Saturday cartoons when I was a kid or Jude and Jody that used to sing we love Folks or the Mathis Brothers who plowed 9 to 9 daily and broke into every show that ever ran on network TV incessantly in Oklahoma City. I now hate country music because of a new breed of TV Cowboy whose 15 minutes of fame will not a career make except if you’re selling furniture.